OK, let's start to play catch up.

I realize I am a little behind, so I will start by writing catch up posts.

This is going to be a hard weekend for me.  Two years ago today, I saw my amante dressed up in a cheap suit rosary in hand in an open casket.  It was distressing to see a man I knew for four years and loved for one of them in that state.

Let's face it.  34 is way too young to die.  The sad thing is that looking back, I should have seen it coming in December 2013 when we spent our last night together.  One of the things he said was, "I don't believe in angels anymore."

I responded by saying that I did believe in them, but what I did not believe is that they come down in the form of someone all dressed in white with a halo and wings.  I believed that angels took all forms and could enter the United States from Guatemala illegally.

He cried in my arms and said, "Now I know how much you love me."

I felt he really was my angel sent down to look after me during a rough time.  I was saddened when my angel was taken away and that he was sent off in the way he was.  I cried a lot and drank a lot that night.  It broke my heart that he was dead and I no longer had my angel with me.

I spent a long time thinking about it, and I still miss him terribly.  I also know why it will be my turn to be the angel - I'll be paying something forward.