Alumni Graduation Speech One of Two

It wasn't 30 Years ago today, but this year marks 30 years since I graduated with my BA from Trinity University.  It got me to thinking, what would I say to the Class of 2016 as a  Alumni Speaker.  I think this is what I would be saying to them as I participate in one last shot at giving some lessons / wisdom before they go out and embark on the next chapter of their lives:

 Good morning.

I would like to thank President Anderson for the introduction and remarks. I would also like to thank all of those involved in planning this event for thinking of me when it came to deciding which alumnus would receive the honor of participating in a final opportunity to impart some lessons on my soon to be fellow alumni.

Thirty years ago, I was sitting where you are now, very happy to graduate. I was also very happy once I received my diploma for two reasons. First off, it was the culmination of three and one half years of effort. Second, for the two months preceding the date, I was enduring relentless dizzy spells (maybe a bad case of Vertigo.) The second I got the diploma in my hands, they stopped.

At the time there was a song by a group called Timbuk 3 titled, The Future's So Bright. The last part of the refrain was, “The future's so bright, I gotta wear shades.”

At the time that was what I thought. I had a job waiting for me in Dallas that I thought would work out. Yes, I managed to get one during my dizzy spells and looking back probably should have waited until after I graduated to look for a job. Of course, it did not work out and I returned to Houston to live with my parents.

Then the other shoe dropped just in time for Christmas. The Reader's Digest version of the story is that my parents found out I'm Gay, and said, “Leave and don't ever come back.” There was only one thing to do at that point, and that was say, “Bye.” It was a very traumatic situation, and something I did not ever want to repeat.

Hopefully your first year after graduation will not be the disaster mine was.

But there is a lesson learned here. Life sometimes doesn't turn out the way we want it to. Here is where it gets Trinity related. First, for the year after that when I was freezing in Denver, CO; I looked at my class ring often and reflected on my time here and how it was a very good point in my life. Memories of how good the experience at Trinity was helped me get through that year when things started getting better. Second, I used what I learned at Trinity to facilitate things getting better.

In Colorado, I took a stab at getting my master's degree. Looking back, that was a very bad idea because I was not prepared to perform such an undertaking. I should have spent more time healing. Needless to say, the effort was a complete and total failure. That, along with a nasty breakup was motivation to end the chapter of my life in Colorado and start a new one in California.

Which brings me to my next point. If you have not already done so, you will fail spectacularly too. And that's okay – if and only if you learned some lessons from the failure, combine it with other things both Trinity and life has taught you and apply it to the next challenge.

It's about now, you are probably wondering if my post – Trinity life was nothing but gloom and doom. Well, it wasn't. A year after moving to San Francisco, I met someone and fell in love. I also got a career started seven years after my graduation which has served me well to this day. It was a great 24 years there and gave me the foundation to start a new life in Southern California / Baja California which I am enjoying very much. I feel fortunate that I am where I am at today – especially since it was a bit of a rough ride in the first years after Trinity to get to this point.

One last piece of advice I would like to impart on you. Things can, must and will change. I am reminded of that one on this visit to the Trinity campus as the Miller Fountain has been relocated, where I lived has been renovated and there are new and improved buildings everywhere. I'm sure that 30 years from now, Trinity will be markedly different when you (and hopefully me) visit. You will change too, and hopefully for the better. And to the parents and families who are celebrating along with my fellow soon to be alumni, I would like to assure you that these young men and women have a great foundation after studying here. Commencement was a jumping off point for the rest of my life, and I did jump off with a solid foundation.

And to my soon to be fellow alumni; to quote RuPaul, “Good luck, and don't f--- it up!”