Bisexuality

How the heck did this topic come about?

Well, the housemate had an NC 17 rated encounter with a man who is married to a woman.  As I understand it, the other party is still living with (and is married to) his wife and two kids, and is only sticking around because he does not have the ability to go off on his own.

I asked, "Does she know?"

The Party Line from the guy is that his wife knows he likes boys too.  I don't know the ground rules of that relationship, but it got me to thinking.

First, I have seen on various dating websites the line, "I'm married and my wife doesn't know."  Instant turn off for me - especially when one of them tries to negotiate a scene with me in which his wife catches him in the act.  Needless to say, I turned that guy down.

The first question I have for these guys is, "Why haven't you hashed this one out with your wife?  Do you not have the stones to do it?"  It may be a dealbreaker for the marriage, or it just may be a matter of hammering out some ground rules, and the latter just may be better for the relationship.

I have two examples.

Example numero uno:  I was at Rage in West Hollywood and was dancing with this guy.  Afterwards, I was having a drink and his wife said, "I saw you dance with my husband.  I'm here with him because it is his gay night and I had nothing planned so I decided to tag along."

Example numero two-o:  I was at Martuni's on Fourth in San Diego.  I'm not sure what this guy's deal was, but he was mentioning at the bar that he thought he could get into men if they had vaginas.

I said, "Where IS Buck Angel when we need him?"

After the explanation of who Buck Angel is and some more chatting, just when they were about to leave, he said, "and I don't know if I could make out with a guy with a beard."

I said, "Let's find out," and made out with him.

I don't know who enjoyed it more.  Him or his wife!

In both cases, it was obvious that the relationships were, for the most part healthy.

Rick and I had an understanding regarding my extracurricular activities and in light of his impotence cut a deal with me which got modified in a way that I got the unsolicited permission slip to have an Amante, which I wound up doing.  So I understand that you can have a healthy relationship with full disclosure of things like this.

It also made me appreciate a recent lunch date where my date brought a wing man in the form of his husband of 20 years.  As a result, I had a subsequent with the date in his playroom (MASSAGE STUDIO! I SAID MASSAGE STUDIO!)

Anyway, I hope all of you in relationships are communicating well so that they can be healthy and fun (or retain the fun in dysfunctional.)