Fetish of the Day

Due to circumstances within and beyond everyone's control, I am in a sexual relationship with a guy that lives with his mom.

I'm cool with that, however that means a trip to a hotel if we want to do anything X rated.

You guessed it.  He is turned on by performing the act in a hotel room.

Needless to say, this kinkster is thankful for the invention of Priceline - especially since I have to do something in San Diego the Friday before pick a side and stick to it weekend because some I-5 work requires that the San Ysidro border crossing be closed.

Should make for a fun weekend.

Boy did I screw that one up.

If you are looking for future dispatches from the Desert in this blog, I have bad news for you.

That might not happen.

As you may know, I agreed to split my time between the desert and San Diego for another year in April.  Within about four days, the housemate made it clear that I made a mistake because he decided to have one of his bipolar episodes and take it out on me.

May rolls around.  He finds love in a fifth wheel trailer in the middle of nowhere in San Bernadino County.  Asking me to take him there and back was reasonable.  Saying that when we went out I was only expected to be a minder for him while he gets stark raving drunk to the point of blacking out wasn't.  Insisting I pay for the bottle of Jack Daniels Mr. Fifth Wheel wanted was definitely unreasonable.

Did I mention for the second year in a row, he didn't bother to take me out on my birthday, even though I took him out to celebrate his?  I say that because even when the Amate was flat broke, he managed to take me out for drinks to celebrate my birthday (No, I don't know how he did it.)

I head back to San Diego to get stuff done.  I am greeted with a text asking if  I give him money so he could financially bail out Mr. Fifth Wheel.  I said no.  I got a text saying, "Stay in San Diego."

Of course the next day, I was screaming at the top of my lungs, "HELLO, TIJUANA!  THERE'S NO PLACE LIKE HOME!"  As I started pounding pavement, I get an apology and a request to come back and meet his mom (a really nice, smart woman by the way.)

Mommy and I see eye to eye on certain things about him.  He is upset that we do.

He also got sexually frustrated and spent two weeks using me as an emotional punching bag.  Ultimately that led to a trip to CCBC where I decided to fight back by engaging in as much sexual activity as I could.

He wasn't happy that I was getting laid and he wasn't.  OK who could not resist being asked to participate in a window show that you are ogling?

So I head back for SD Pride and a doctor appointment, and return to the desert for two weeks.

It was going well for a week and a half - then he was told by someone he met on line that they were not coming over to his place to have a sex fest.

He turned on me.

He insisted on my paying for a night out.

He then on that night out thwarted an assignation I was undertaking.

He then was hacked that I was leaving Sunday morning.

I leave Sunday morning and he texts, "Don't come back."

Don't worry, that won't happen.

At least I didn't say anything.

So, it's on to the next round.

Happy Birthday, Rick

Today would be Rick's 77th birthday if he were still alive.

Meanwhile in San Francisco, today is the day of the Pride Parade.  For every year except for the 2015 we hit every one.

I was thinking about it all day, and about we managed to have a good time even at the 2014 one in which our day was shorter because Rick wasn't feeling 100% well.  It was really sad to think about especially since in 2015 I displayed gallows humor as he was getting a bath and I noted he was getting a spa treatment for his birthday.  At that point he was progressively shutting down and the apartment felt more like the departure lounge than anything else.

I will probably think more about it over the next two weeks.

There are other stories, but I will save them for future posts.

Gov. Vega, You Are Forgiven

One of the current things going on in Baja California is a replating of all cars.

This means that it's out with the old and in with the new as far as license plates are concerned and I truly missed the old ones that paid homage to the wine industry in the state.  Honestly, I go, "Meh," when I see the new graphic plates.

I recently found out why this is happening.  There is now a new regulation in Mexico stating that the plates graphics cannot intrude on the plate number.  Makes sense, and the new design does just that.  So I won't complain too loudly about the new design.

That said, this regime has left it's mark and we will see what the next one does in two years.

Oh, No. It's the Bank Statement

I just spent a week and a half in Tijuana.

I also needed the ABA Number for my bank for another form.

This meant going online to get the number.  I saw my balance and noted it was higher than I originally thought - even with a charge that was unexpected.  I then looked at the statement's detail.  It turns out that I spent less money in Tijuana than I thought.  This even includes one night out on a date.

Something tells me, I should spend more time there - especially since there are two Sorianas with decent delis and one of them is a Hiper Soriana.

The other nice thing about my bank is that I get free ATM withdrawals in Mexico.

Guess that means I should spend more time there.

More on Microaggressions

Some work from the University of California on the subject of microaggressions crossed my browser this morning.  It made for an interesting read, in that I now know that a microaggression is, "the everyday verbal, nonverbal, and environmental slights, snubs, or insults, whether intentional or unintentional, that communicate hostile, derogatory, or negative messages to target persons based solely upon their marginalized group membership."

How big a committee wrote that one?  And who do they define as a, "marginalized group?"

Sounds too straight white male think to me. Here are some examples that amplify it and my thoughts:

Themes	Microaggression Examples	Message	My Comment
Alien in One’s Own Land: When Asian Americans, Latino Americans and others who look different or are named differently from the dominant culture are assumed to be foreign-born	“Where are you from or where were you born?”	You are not a true American.	If someone asks me this question, I only have one response. “Texas.” Deep down inside I want to be a REAL Texan, and ask, “And what country are YOU from?” but I can control myself and my point was made in one word.
	“You speak English very well.”		DUH. It’s my first language.
	Continuing to mispronounce the names of students after students have corrected the person time and time again. Not willing to listen closely and learn the pronunciation of a non-English based name.	Your ethnic/racial identity makes you exotic.	Sorry, UC, although I like being referred to as, “exotic,” you got this one wrong, wrong, wrong. I’ve endured this one, and the person doing it comes across to me as an ignoramus at best.
Myth of Meritocracy Statements which assert that race or gender does not play a role in life successes, for example in issues like faculty demographics.	“America is the land of opportunity.” “Everyone can succeed in this society, if they work hard enough	People of color are given extra unfair benefits because of their race. The playing field is even so if women cannot make it, the problem is with them. People of color are lazy and/or incompetent and need to work harder.	Look, we all know it’s not what you know. It’s who you know. Let’s just drop the pretense.
Sexist/Heterosexist Language Terms that exclude or degrade women and LGBT persons	Being forced to choose Male or Female when completing basic forms	LGBT categories are not recognized	Another binary that makes no sense. Please don’t complain when I ask that in the selections you include are, “Don’t know / not sure,” “Other (Please specify,)” and “Decline to state.”
	Two options for relationship status: married or single.	LGBT partnerships are invisible.	As a widower, I go, “Huh,” when faced with this binary.
Traditional Gender Role Prejudicing and Stereotyping Occurs when expectations of traditional roles or stereotypes are conveyed.	Labeling an assertive female committee chair/dean as a “b____,” while describing a male counterpart as a “forceful leader.”	Women are out of line when they are aggressive.	OK, being aggressive and being assertive are two different things. And when it comes to jerks, let’s use gender neutral terms such as the one with eight letters beginning with a and ending with e.

With that said, the complete paper can be found here.  And I just used HTML coding skills to get around a Blogger limitation.  Hooray!

On a lighter note, hope your Easter went well.  

Mixed Pre Easter Bag

Well, it's Holy Saturday.

I'm going to call it good news that I have discovered a new sexual hard limit of mine.  No way in hell am I going to remotely participate in activity involving learning more about Victoria's Secret.  It never was my thing in the first place, but now that I have had an encounter with a guy who dug it, I don't want to do it again.  What made this round too strange was he got off on listening to a recording that used phrases like, "you are a filthy faggot, whose only purpose is to have your man pussy penetrated."

In one word, "EEEEEEW!"

It gets worse.  This session was a three way involving someone who I was dating.  This jerk decided, with a little help, to make sure I was drummed out of the picture.  Let's just say, the whole situation got messy and in the end, I was crying, I hit the ceiling of the Grantville Trolley Station (and if you have been in it, you would know that is no mean feat."  And the whole thing really upset me.

Soooo, the time came to make an attempt to cheer myself up.  First round was when I dug up the Hawaiian shirts in my locker that Rick and I purchased to go to a funeral.  This particular one was for a friend of Rick's late mother who knew his family well.  The guest of honor specifically requested that the mourning party wear Hawaiian shirts to the event.  I really enjoyed meeting the family of the guest of honor as well as truly appreciating why we switch place cards at gatherings.  A friend of Rick's mom basically spoke with me and put him on a pedestal for all the things he did for his mom when he visited San Diego.  I relayed that to Rick.

The next day an archaeological dig into my locker revealed shirts Rick bought but never wore. It was also the day of a despedida for a bar, and Rick's grand nephew asked if I could be a gratuitous piece of arm candy and go with him.  I wore one of the shirts, attended the despedida and hand a great time.  I was out until 4 AM.  I also SWEAR the young man is out to fix me up with someone and is evaluating candidates from his date pool.  This means if you see me out on a date in Tijuana with an awfully young man, you know what happened.

As you know, I made a decision last July to split my time and figure out where to go from that point this July.  I have decided to keep splitting my time for another year, and decide what to do  next April.  We shall see how that plays out.

More to come.